All that Aline can’t leave behind

“If you’re leaving will you take me with you?”

Will you? Would you take me with you? Please? Why are you leaving? Why? You know you shouldn’t, still you’re doing it. You’re hurting yourself, I can see that. Why are you leaving? Why are you doing this to you? Why are you telling me that you don’t wanna leave me?? WHY THE HELL ARE YOU LEAVING, THEN?

“No-one to point the finger, it’s just you and me in the rain”

Is there anybody forcing you? Is there an alien somewhere trying to kidnap you?? Were you abducted?? Why can’t you stay? Why must you leave….me? You’re leaving me behind…

“Don’t go away, say what you say, say that you’ll stay”

You want to stay, I know that. We both know that. So how come you can’t?? How come you are not able to handle me anymore?? How come the person who loves me the most could be capable of such a cruel thing?? How come?? You’re abandoning something you love… you are giving up on me…

“Don’t give up on me yet… don’t think I’m walking out of this”

Please, don’t. Please don’t do it. Don’t you give up on me! Why can’t you? Why can’t you stay? I don’t wanna walk out of this, I don’t. But what’s left of me? I won’t stand in your way, because I know I can’t convince you that I love you…

“If you’re determined to leave, boy, I will not stand in your way”

I can’t fix the issues you have in your head. It’s so out of my league, you’re so out of my reach. You are leaving me behind because you think I’m too good for you. You keep saying that you don’t deserve me, that you’re not man enough for me, when you actually *are* the love of my life. But it’s impossible for you to believe me, isn’t it? So, how am I supposed to run after you? Would you ever let me? What’s the use in that? Won’t I get hurt? Will I ever stop crying? Why must I suffer like that if you don’t believe me? I won’t, I can’t. I’ve done all that a rational girl would have done.

“I’m sick of trying, I mean that it’s over”

I won’t call you; I won’t respond your calls – what for? So that you can bruise me with your words of ‘sorry, I love you TOO MUCH to be with you’???? Do you think I can handle that kind of thing for endless years? I can’t. I can’t compete with insecurity that big. I can’t deal with a love that is so fucking strong, capable of tearing us apart.

“Love, love will tear us apart… again”

It’s a never-ending situation. If I could take you back, you’d probably regret sooner or later, and we’d be stuck in this in-and-out thing. I don’t want that for us.

“Stop saying that you’re calling time, look at your life before you start on mine”

I won’t pull any string to get to you because I love you. Just like you’re saying now: you’re leaving me because you love me TOO MUCH. But there’s a slight difference: I love MYSELF too. That’s why I won’t sacrifice an inch of sanity to have you back. That’s why I don’t want any more suffering. Sorry. I definitely will love you till the day that I die. But that won’t stop me from going on with my life in the best way that I can. Meaning: I will *never* do aything for you.

“I don’t wanna see you ‘cause I know the dreams that you keep – that’s where we’ll meet”

Depending on me, you will *never* hear from me again. I won’t *ever* see you again. I couldn’t stand the pain. It’s better this way.

“Your heart is not open, so I must go”

You left me no choice. In the end, it’s me leaving you. That is so sad. To be without you is so sad. Living apart from each other because of LOVE is so fucking sad. God, I am not happy. I could never be happy again. Not like I was.

“All the love gone bad, turned my world to black, tattooed all I see, all that I am, all that I’ll be…

And that’s how I am now.

“Hopelessly drift
In the eyes of the ghost again
Down on my knees
And my hands in the air again
Pushing my face in the memory of you again
But I never know if it’s real
Never know how I wanted to feel
Never quite said what I wanted to say to you
Never quite managed the words to explain to you
Never quite knew how to make them believable
And now the time has gone
Another time undone
Hopelessly fighting the devil
Futility
Feeling the monster
Climb deeper inside of me
Feeling him gnawing my heart away
Hungrily
I’ll never lose this pain
Never dream of you again”

I’m Untitled.